Apr 26, 2011

The Adelaide Social Experiment Continues...

I went away for a lovely holiday this weekend to the middle of nowhere NZ. I stayed in a log cabin and it was bliss. There were couches to lounge on and I was warm while I slept. I had endless access to a refrigerator and I hand washed the dinner dishes for 2 days until someone reminded me there was a dishwasher and you know what...I continued to handwash the dishes cuz I enjoyed it.

I was loaned gum boots for beach walks to keep my tootsies dry and we had 2 fires every night - one outside to roast marshmallows and drink good quality beer around and one inside to heat the house when you came in to get more beer. From the fridge. I used a vacuum cleaner for the first time in 2 and a half months - I goddamned volunteered for the job and loved every second of it. Hot meals where served at every sitting and I drank red wine out of a proper wine glass instead of my giraffe juice glass.

I walked home from the train station on Monday night just hoping that The Adelaide was still standing. (My NZ worldly possessions are in #4 after all.) As I rounded the corner there she was...sagging with the posture of a beaten down ole hobo. God love her...she's put in her time - can't we just say our goodbyes and walk away to the sound of bagpipes and a 21-gun salute?

Today I came home after slaving away in the studio to the lease agreement I requested from the rental co. The sealed envelope that they gave me upon signing said lease only contained the bond info and general information that is completely unhelpful and downright false (ex. rubbish disposal, etc.). It was a very thick packet so I unscrewed the white wine (that tastes like grapefruits) and settled in to a good readin'.

Blah, blah, blah, words, rules, blah...rental period up Feb. 2012, more words, blah, WAIT, WHAT!!!!!!?? A 1 yr. lease!!!!! Dude, really? Really!? Don't panic. More grapefruit wine. Okay, put this down and start the laundry. Oh, the dryer is broken so my room looks like a yard sale heavy on the garments. In my mind I've replaced the damp clothes for oversized Tibetan prayer flags.


Laundry removal turned into an Adelaide tenant pow wow. Two fellow Adelaidians cruised in to heat up some dude food and the conversation began...

Room #9: Did you get your walking papers?
Me: Uh what? Did we receive another letter? I tried to get out of my lease and the fuckers won't let me.
Schneider: They've started calling people. I got a call today at 3pm. May 31st they board everything up and the notices will be posted on the building. If you don't have your shit out by then, you won't get it.
Me: I thought they were making us move to a hostel while they fix up this shithole to just below mediocre standards.
Room #9: It'll take 6-12 months for that kind of renovation.
Schneider: Yeah, after May 31st it's over.
Me: I guess I'll be last on that calling list. Why are they fucking with me?
Schneider: Don't take it personal. And yes. You will be last on the list.

Is this some kind of demented mind fuck? My brain instantly computes that if your building is condemned then you don't pay rent to that address anymore cuz you can't live there but all of the letters, passive aggressive emails, and unaccepted phone calls have me questioning myself. Is this part of the NZ experience? Is this like a frat initiation? Am I being elaborately punked?